Wednesday, 10 April 2013

"Utter! Shite" - Saturday 27th April


















Hello there.  You might be interested in the fact that I'm DJ'ing until late playing nothing but one hit wonders and novelty records at a night called "Utter Shite!" (hosted by Richard Tyrone Jones - pictured) on 27th April.  This is the first (and probably the last) time that the darkest, dingiest corners of my vinyl collection have been aired in public, so it's sure to be an event of sorts.


But if listening to flop Eurovision Song Contest entries, ditties from the "That's Life!" team and French seventies electronica isn't your bag, there will also be a wide range of  spoken word performers delivering three minutes and 33 seconds of pure nonsense and rubbish, among them Tim Wells, Lee Nelson, Dildo Dando, James Ross, Dan Simpson, Leanne Moden, Alan Wolfson, Alain English, Dave Bryant (that's me), Mark Dean Quinn, Michael MacIntyre (apparently) & Christian Ward (apparently).

It's £3.33 entrance at the Star of Kings, 126 York Way, London N1 0AX (nearest tube Kings Cross).  There's also a special prize bingo session.  The Facebook invite page is here.

For the sake of entertainment, and also in a possibly vain attempt to ensure that I still have some friends left at the end of the evening, I cannot guarantee that the contents of my DJ'ing will be 100% shite - there may be some actual beef in this particular value lasagne.  But I won't accept any requests for refunds.

And please don't ask me what poem I plan to read, but I suspect it may involve me digging back through some of my earliest notebooks.  This could be a complete non-treat.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Alter-egos

Way back on 23rd February (yes, I know, that was a long time ago now) I was invited to read a new poem inspired by the topic of alter-egos at a Broadcast event hosted by Roddy Lumsden and Sophia Blackwell.  I accepted the invitation despite actually having a deep-rooted fear of reading fresh, new poems in public.  Of course, I read "new" poems at open mics absolutely all the time, but these are almost always put through the mill first and are usually at least 3-4 months old by the time they're aired.  Not for me the reading aloud of the second draft written in biro on the back of a tatty old flyer - I'll usually hide the first draft in a drawer somewhere for a couple of months first, waiting until I can give what I've written an honest, non-emotional assessment, then begin the redrafting process.  I'm not a particularly spontaneous poet and most of what I do has to be hacked within an inch of its life before it works.

I penned three poems on alter-egos in the end.  One was so awful that all the editing and redrafting in the world wouldn't have given it legs.  Another, due to some horrible brainwrong, was almost a parody of a poem Roddy Lumsden had already written on the topic of alter-egos, and I only realised the glaring similarities the next day (clearly my subconscious was in full Christian Ward mode even if  my memory was acting up).  In the end, the third one had to do, which was somewhat unusually focused on the subject of summoning an alter-ego by chanting passages from the Myers-Briggs psychological co-ordinator into a bathroom mirror.  I'm aware that this was an unconventional subject and approach to the theme of the evening and it did cause me to do a jokey introduction on the night, as there was no other way around it.  It's not necessarily wholly original either - numerous avant-garde poets have had field-days with passages from psychological tests before now.  Despite this, it looked like it at least had a fighting chance, so I gave it another hasty redraft in the pub that afternoon and took it along to the Betsey Trotwood with me that evening to see what happened.

The night was actually one of the most enjoyable poetry evenings I've been to in awhile, incredibly laidback and relaxed in style and varied in tone.  The fact that each performer was only allowed to deliver one poem was occasionally frustrating as there were people I'd have liked to hear more from, but it was fascinating to hear the frequently unusual paths many readers took, and almost none of the work seemed that much below anyone's expected standards despite the restrictions of the chosen topic.  In the end, I found myself having to follow Raymond Antrobus which is always a bit of a bum deal as he's a mean live performer as well as a skilled writer (and has just been nominated for an award) but I held up well and the below was what the live audience heard.

I by no means think that this is an example of me writing my best work and I don't expect that I'll ever try to get it published - certainly not in this form, at least - but it's a rare example of me producing poetry to a tight deadline, which I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever be able to do again.  I've resisted the temptation to make further edits before posting it up here, as that would seem to be against the spirit of the whole venture.



[He is almost never late for appointments – YES/ NO]
[He gets pleasure from solitary walks – YES/ NO]

In moments of desperation
possession is preferable.
So I chanted as I wrote his
name in the bathroom
mirror, squeaking fingers
along spores of steam
before they were
sucked away to feed the
overgrown, feline playground of
East London gardens.

[He often prefers to read a book than go to a party – YES/ NO]
[Deadlines seem to be of relative, rather than absolute importance – YES/ NO]

And I write names of
other desirable entities
who would never play
knock down ginger on
doors of those who
promised too much,
everyday heroes with the
power to ignore the
irresolvable past.

[He knows how to put every minute of his time to good purpose – YES/ NO]
[He usually reacts first to a sudden event, such as the phone ringing, or an unexpected question – YES/ NO]

And I wipe in more
names, cocktail mix and
etch-a-sketch the wall
with Vamboo Rools,
clearing the condensation
until there are two mes,
siamesed by my index finger,
staring hollowly, blankly
back at my reloaded self.

[He tends to rely on experience rather than theoretical narratives – YES/ NO]
[He is more inclined to experiment than follow familiar approaches – YES/ NO]


Wednesday, 6 March 2013

On Not Giving Up Poetry

There are few things lazier than using somebody's else blog entry as a springboard for discussion, but in this case I can't resist.  Over here Alison Croggon talks in more depth about why she gave up writing poetry in favour of writing novels, and why she considers herself to be unlikely to return to the form.  It's a very honest and interesting read, and worth a click-through because she's candid in a way I doubt most practicing or aspiring poets would dare to be.  As a determined ex-poet she has nothing at all to lose by highlighting the traps, pitfalls and disadvantages of spending a lifetime engaging with the form, so her perspective is simultaneously refreshing and instantly recognisable.

At this point, I have to admit that her poetry is unfamiliar to me.  I could go away and attempt to read some, but I don't want to - if her work is of an extremely high quality I think I'd begin to feel exceptionally miserable and would probably try to begin a bullying campaign online to get her to reconsider.  For that reason alone, I'm going to ignore her literary work and focus on the main points her blog entry raises.

Firstly, I know precisely where she's coming from.  I consider stopping writing poetry several times a year, and have done so for quite some time now.  I don't know how common this is, but I would be extremely surprised if most poets, however successful they are, don't look around at the other opportunities available to them in life and feel cheated, banished to an outermost, Siberian art form.  Artists of all stripes are frequently loathe to talk about ambition, feeling it to be a vulgar irrelevance to their work, but the reality is that precious few intelligent human beings are capable of taking the higher road and living without it.  Most creative people are capable of living humble existences, but a humble existence without a great deal of praise, reassurance or acknowledgement is a hard task.  If you wave out to the world and hardly anyone waves back, the natural response is normally to assume that your attempts at communication and connection have proved of little consequence. Marginalised artforms make lonely artists lonelier still.  My wife (from a Catholic family in Canada) has referred to poets at some live events as being "like priests without a flock".

In terms of reaching an audience, poetry has come on in leaps and bounds since the mid-noughties when it hit an historical sales trough, but for all its attempts to connect with a wider public it remains a fringe art form.  No members of my family or any of my non-poetry reading friends are suddenly more curious about what I do just because the spoken word scene has enjoyed a few mentions in "The Metro".  To them, it still seems like a very odd thing to be preoccupied with.  The scene is thriving compared to what it was, but outside of cities even the biggest names are doomed to spend their evenings talking to small audiences in provincial libraries and bookshops.  Even where the audience is growing, there's a panic and desperation about the promotion, especially when the aim is to target the youth demographic.  Shouting in block capitals about the Nowness and Vitality of the circuit serves only to highlight how it still isn't really all that fashionable or popular - if it were, nobody would actually need telling that it's on the radar of everyone in the know.  People 'in the know' tend not to be secretive about their finds.  If poetry had truly arrived, there would at least be minor quarter page columns in the Sunday magazines talking about the latest exciting arrivals. As things stand, a special occasion like National Poetry Day barely warrants a mention in the media, and even BBC4 can never be bothered to broadcast anything for it.

So poetry can feel relatively thankless, and it's not an artform for people who crave fame or adulation. This in turn leads to the "knife fights in phone boxes" Croggon refers to - I've worked in many other spheres of the arts and media, and all suffer from incredibly vicious and petty rivalries, but few have felt so awkward and unfathomable to outsiders as the spats in the poetry world. If people aren't frothing at their mouths about a populist poet with big populist messages actually breaking through to a very small mainstream audience, then they're angry about poetry traitors.  These are usually people who are tied to certain sub-genres of poetry which either have their roots in areas which are too avant-garde or are too populist, or too academic or too middle class (delete depending on which side of the fence you sit on).  Each side remains convinced that the other is killing the artform or spreading false impressions and is therefore directly or indirectly depriving them of a living.  In a healthy artform, this kind of territorial dispute hardly ever emerges.  Heavy Metal bands and Reggae acts don't have knife-fights at dawn about who is bringing popular music to its knees.  Artists specialising in sculpture don't generally vandalise conceptual art installations.  But where there is little land to carve up, the battles will always be at their most fierce.

Sometimes being involved with poetry makes no sense.  Sometimes, when I think hard, I know that if I put as much effort into being a one-note novelty comedy act, or a novelty rock band, as I have the poetry, I'd be in with not necessarily a greater shot of success, but certainly more noticeable public displays of appreciation.  If, night in night out, I performed in a retro band doing nineties rave style cover versions of the "Bodyform" advert, I'd receive more pats on the back despite being a tool.  So whenever I do anything else at all, whether it's DJ'ing or writing short stories, people ask me if I'm giving poetry up.  I get incredulous and irritated and wonder why the subject is being brought up - I'm allowed to have more than one thing in my life, surely? - but, of course, it's obvious why they're asking.  People do leave poetry behind to write plays and novels.  The roll-call of poetry is littered with examples of people who eventually decided that they needed to move on (and some haven't done too badly as a result).  And I have to admit, I probably would leave if I had the choice.

There's just one problem.  I keep on writing new poems.  Sorry.  When I have ideas, that's the form they usually take.  And I'm glad that not everyone is like Croggon and more people suffer from my affliction - because while it's not 'the most important artform' or even 'the pinnacle of literary achievement' (that kind of talk is nonsense and just alienates people from the form, poetry is as populist or as high-minded as any individual wants it to be, but ooh, listen to me being territorial) it still has a huge impact on my life when it's done well.  And I don't necessarily hope I'll still be interested in it for some time to come, but I think I probably will be, and that's all there is to it.

Friday, 1 March 2013

Stockists of "The Alarmist"






















Hello readers,

This is probably the last proper plug I'll do for this (I promise), but you should note that issue two of "The Alarmist" which features my 5,000 word short story "The Private Museum of Peter Gandalf" can be obtained from the following stockists in the UK at the moment:

A.F. & J Barret (Glasgow)
Aye-Aye Books (Glasgow) - available shortly
Analogue (Edinburgh)
Arnolfini Bookshop (Bristol)
Barbican News (Old Street/Barbican)
Bookartbookshop (Shoreditch)
Camden News (Camden, London)
Capital News (Marylebone)
Charlotte Street News (W1, London)
Colours May Vary (Leeds)
Chelsea Food Fayre (Chelsea)
Daily News (Bradford)
Foyles (Charing Cross Road, London)
Foyles (Southbank, London)
Fulham News (Fulham)
Good News (Berwick Street, Soho, London)
Good Press Gallery (Glasgow)
Holland Park News (W11, London)
International Newsagent (Edinburgh)
KK Outlet (Hoxton, London)
London Tap (Altrincham, Cheshire) - available shortly
M2 (Covent Garden, London)
Marshall News (W1, London)
News From Nowhere (Liverpool)
No Guts No Glory (Exeter)
Pages of Hackney (Hackney, London)
Rococo (W11, London)
Rough Trade East (Shoreditch, London) - issue one available and issue 2 available shortly
S. J News (Queen’s Park, London)
Shreeji (W1, London)
Tate Modern (London)
Thrive News (Westfield)
Ti Pi Tin (Stoke Newington)
Unique Magazines (Newcastle)
Walther Koenig Books (Serpenting Gallery, Hyde Park, London)
Wardour News (Soho, London)
WHSmiths (Selfridges)

Kirsty Logan of "The List" magazine said that the story "contains excellent and scathing points on the nature of art, idealism vs reality, and the problems of building a friendship" and added that it in places it was "hauntingly vivid". This is useful, as it saves me the job of having to think up words to promote my own work for once.


The Alarmist has generally been well-received so far, and contains other contributions from a wide variety of people, including the brilliant Fran Lock - go out and buy it and make me happy please.


There will be international stockists as well in the larger global cities, and in fact Papercup Books in Beirut has copies already. If you want to know more about those, drop me a comment, in the meantime if you're living somewhere which is Alarmist-free, you can buy copies from their website here.  I'm sure if you're interested in stocking the periodical yourself they'll be all ears as well.  

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Art Brutness






















One of the great things about keeping a highly self-indulgent, non-thematic and barely-read personal blog - as I used to - is that you can actually trace the seeds of various ideas if you care to dig deep enough.  Given that you'll tend to only comment on the things that have had the biggest impact on you in any given week, it's inevitable that some of those concerns will start to bubble up into the "creative work" (if you can forgive that expression).   So while I was digging back through my old entries, I found this one from 2008 about an Outsider Art Exhibition a friend and I went to at the Whitechapel Art Gallery.  Clearly whilst I had my moral issues with the exhibition, those questions planted seeds in my mind and later became the inspiration for the "Private Museum of Peter Gandalf" short story which appeared in "The Alarmist" a couple of weeks ago.

The circle was pretty much completed when I eventually saw a young art student hopping on to a Northern Line train bouyantly, on a morning when I was heading off to my day job after about three hours sleep.  She seemed so self-confident, energetic and optimistic that if somebody had given me the power to swap places at that point, I actually might have done - despite having once been an energetic and optimistic BA student myself, and knowing that it almost never leads to an instant life in the limelight.  None of this makes me Peter Gandalf, obviously, and I'd hope that doesn't need to be emphasised, but if you throw enough images at your brain, eventually it starts to draw some peculiar conclusions.

So anyway, here's what I thought. (And yep, it's very self-indulgent to reproduce this, but then it's very self-indulgent to keep a blog about your poetry and writing too).  

My friend Jon visited from Wales this weekend, and in lieu of anything better to do in a rather somnambulant arts and entertainment scene in London at present, we decided to catch a train down to the present Outsider Art (or Art Brut) exhibition at Whitechapel Art Gallery.

Outsider art fascinates me for one over-riding reason: Taken at its most raw meaning - the creation of art as some kind of primary instinct, ignorant of audiences or the possibility of getting any - it seems strangely comforting. That all over the globe men and women are creating sculptures in their sheds and huge, teetering structures of junk that only their visitors or family are ever likely to see, suggests that there's something much more primal about art (even modern art) than anyone usually acknowledges. It takes us back to the concept I mentioned some entries ago - art and literature are not primarily the activities of the wealthy, it's just those tend to be the people that take risks and therefore get ahead. A man from a miner's family in the Deep South is generally much less likely to jump from his day job to spend full time working on his sculpture of "found" motorway hubcaps in the hope that a major New York gallery will exhibit them. Economics has more bearing on what or who becomes known than anyone usually cares to admit.

Rather unfortunately, however, the exhibition I attended seemed to celebrate the more freakish exponents of the genre (if indeed it is a genre). Much of the art seemed scarily totemistic. Sharp jags, teeth, splinters and shard-like shapes dominated elaborate doodles on canvas. Ghostly faces peered out questioningly from collapsing mosaics. I turned to Jon and said: "If you found a derelict village and one of the houses had endless paintings like these stacked up in it, you'd run for dear life in case the person responsible came to get you as well". He could only agree. There was work in the gallery that genuinely gave me a jittery feeling. These seemed to be tribal markers rather than expressions of belief or intent (apart from the ones more geared around religious mania). Fear, true enough, is better than no response at all (which is what ninety per cent of all art manages to achieve for me) but the purpose behind it to me seemed occasionally lost.

Most interesting was the work of Henry Darger and his paintings of The Vivian Girls. Eight thousand of these paintings were found in his flat by his landlord after he died, and all seemed to chronicle the adventures of cherubic children in some underworld. One particularly vivid piece sees them escaping from a concentration camp (you can read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Darger)

Darger was apparently deemed "frail minded" during his life, and regularly spoke to himself in several different voices and rummaged through dustbins. Nobody had any suspicions that he was creating art in his spare time during his lifetime, least of all in such a ridiculous quantity. I myself am divided as to whether there's any actual worth in what he created or it was essentially just a fantasy world he chose to create as a comfort. And of course, even the latter opinion brings up more complex arguments about self-indulgence and what art should do for the artist as well as the viewer.

My favourite piece in the gallery by far was a rather Alasdair Gray styled effort entitled "Londinium", essentially a futuristic psychological map of the city which was dizzying in its detail. Sadly, I've forgotten the name of the artist responsiblce - if anyone can shed any light, I'd be grateful.